F*cking shucking (& cioppino)

Please excuse my potty mouth. But...really, have you ever shucked an oyster before?! That is some serious business. Clams are no problem. The clam knife goes in so easily! But those oysters! You really have to get in there. I wish I had someone to film me doing it so you could see the joys of jamming an oyster knife into the oyster's weird hole thang...maybe this is too vulgar to write about. To say the least, it was gross and I felt like I was violating those poor oysters (they were still alive!)...Sooo yeah shucking shellfish. It's awesomeeeee. It's not as scary as it sounds, but it does take some work.

Oysters are pretty!

But sometimes they have mud goop stuck in their crevices. Yum.

Use a towel (4ply) when shucking shellfish, you don't want to stab your hand.

You need an oyster knife to shuck an oyster. It has a pointed tip and looks like this. 

(This is the one I have! Victorinox brand.)

Put the oyster on your folded towel rounded-side down.

(That means the flat side is up and facing you!)

Fold half of the towel over the top, like what I did in this picture.

Yeah so just stick the tip of your oyster knife in the small hole and wedge it in there (HARD) while you twist. Remember to twist! 

Don't forget where your hand is. Seriously, that thing will go straight through your hand if you aren't careful. But that's why you have a towel there!

And once you get in there, work fast! Cut the membrane and get that oyster out of there! You don't want to stab it like 10 times...that would suck for the oyster and you.

If you be strugglin'

You can do what I did and sing "Twist and Shout" to yourself (aloud or in your head) and scream a bit if the oyster is making you struggle. If  it's really hard though, let the oyster rest and come back to it later. The more you struggle and the longer you take, the harder it will be to shuck it. (Because it's aliveeeee and fightin!!!!)

Plop! 

Yeah they'll plop out and look something like this.

Congrats, you got some fine lookin' alien fetuses. 

Hehhh kidding! 

But you gotta admit, something about them is fetusy. 

So! We didn't shuck all this shellfish for nothin' mayne. We prepared A LOT of shellfish. (But seriously, I could write like a novel about butchering squids. Probably the highlight of class today--squishing out their guts!) Like six different kinds today! And this was because we made Cioppino!

Cioppino is an Italian-American seafood dish, a fish stew. The seafood that goes into it usually depends on the region you are in. You might see the "catch of the day" in there, or whatever the best fish on the market is at the time. I'll share the recipe with you. I'm not even a huge fan of seafood and I thought it tasted pretty good! Mehh but shrimp...I'll never be able to eat those little dudes. Seriously, the arms! Creepin' me out! I could happily butcher squids and enjoy squeezing their guts out, but pulling the arms off a shrimp is just a whole new level of creepiness. 

Sorry, ranting! CIOPPINO TIME.

Ingredients:

• ~6 Tbsp olive oil
• ~6Tbsp salad oil (vegetable oil) 
• 3/4 C mushrooms (quartered if large, leave whole if they're small--like button mushrooms)
• 1 C onions, large dice
• 4-5 cloves of garlic, whole (how much do you like garlic? consider thaaat)
• 4 clams, fresh & shucked
• 4 oysters, fresh & shucked
• 4 shrimp, fresh (peeled and de-vained!) 
• 6 scallops (sea--the BIG ones), fresh
• 6 scallops (bay--baby ones!), fresh
• 6 squids, cleaned and cut
• 1/2 C chardonnay 
• 10 Italian plum tomatoes (canned) *If you want to use fresh, I'd half them and cook them before 
• 3/4 C tomato juice
• 3/4 C tomato puree
• 4 Tbsp clam juice (add reserved seafood juice from the oysters & clams if you have it!)
• Fresh basil and oregano, to season

1. First, we need to sear all of the seafood and mushrooms (all seperately!). So, Heat up a large pan (large enough for the whole dish to fit into, keep that in mind!).
• Just a heads up! Sear everything in this order:
• Mushroom
• All of your seafood items (seperately)
• Onions & garlic together
2. Once the pan is hot, add your first item, mushrooms. The pan should be like SUPA hot. Don't mix them around. Let them sear. That means the side touching the pan needs to turn nice and brown. Add a little bit of the salad & olive oil to the pan around the edges. 
3. Be patient with this, once you see that the side is browned. Toss away! Stir it up! Then let the other side sear for a bit. 
4. When the mushrooms are seared remove them from the pan and reserve for later. 
5. Now wipe that residue off of the pan with a paper towel and your tongs. If there's a ton of excess oil just dump it out. You don't want everything to taste like burnt mushrooms now, do you?
6. Repeat the same searing process for all of your seafood. So that'll be 6 rounds of searing  for the seafood. Make sure to clean the pan each time! 
7. Garlic and onions are the final items to be seared. However, leave them in the pan. 
8. Turn the heat down a bit and add the chardonnay. Use a rubber spatula to scrape the bottom of the pan. Adding liquid to the hot pan will deglaze the crusty goodness from the bottom of the pan. You don't want to cook out the liquid, so quick, move on to the next step!
9. Add the whole plum tomatoes. Break them down with your spatula and mix em up in there. Cook this on medium heat. *Always be aware of the flame! Unless you're using electric, good luck to you*
10. Add the fresh herbs & tomato puree. Simmer simmer simmer away. 
11. Add that yummy smelling clam juice now! 
12. Now let that saucy goodness simmer. Taste your sauce along the way! 
13. The sauce should reduce a little, but not a whole lot, so once I added all of my ingredients I let it cook for around 10 minutes. Trust your instincts and taste buds. The best way to know if something is done is to taste it! 
14. When the sauce is ready, do a final tasting for seasoning. Add fresh cracked black pepper if you have it and maybe even a little salt. 
15. Yo sauce is done meow! Turn off the heat. Remember all that seared goodness? Fold it all in: the oysters, clams, shrimp, mushrooms, etc. ALL OF IT. 
16. That's it really, eat up! Sprinkle a little Parmesan cheese (or whatever you like) on top. Serve with some crusty bread or pasta.